Hurry Up Driver: When Slowing Down Feels Wrong
- Cat
- 20 hours ago
- 2 min read
In Transactional Analysis (TA), we talk about drivers which are unconscious ‘rules’ we often pick up in childhood about what we need to do to feel accepted, safe, or ‘good enough’. If you haven’t read it yet, the intro blog explains what drivers are and how they form.
Hurry Up Driver: The origins
The Hurry Up driver is the inner voice that says: Faster. Now. Don’t waste time.
It can form in environments where there was pressure, impatience, unpredictability, or where being quick gained attention and approval. You might have learned that slowing down led to criticism, irritation, or being left behind. For some people, speed also becomes a way to stay ahead of uncomfortable feelings, because when you slow down, things can catch up.
You may have grown up with messages like:
“Hurry up.”
“You’re too slow.”
“We haven’t got all day.”
“You’re so quick!”
“You’re amazing, you get things done so fast.”
“That’s why I love you, you’re so efficient.”
Sometimes it’s not just about time, it’s about what happens when you slow down. Slowing down can bring feelings, uncertainty, or the fear of being criticised.
Hurry Up: The positives and negatives
Examples of this driver
You might notice Hurry Up if you:
Feel irritated when others are slow
Rush tasks and make avoidable mistakes
Struggle to relax without feeling guilty
Speak quickly, walk quickly, eat quickly
Feel anxious when you have nothing to do
How it shows up in work & relationships
At work, it can look like productivity and quick thinking — but also stress, mistakes, and difficulty focusing.
In relationships, it can show up as impatience, finishing other people’s sentences, or feeling restless during emotional conversations.
The hidden cost
The cost is often chronic stress, anxiety, and disconnection. When you’re always rushing, it’s hard to be present, and your nervous system rarely gets the message that you’re safe.
A kinder message
Allow yourself these permissions for your Hurry Up driver:
“I can take my time.”
“Slow is okay, I’ll get there.”
Try this reflection:
Pick one everyday activity to do slowly (making tea, walking to the car, washing up).
Notice what comes up in your body when you slow down.
Say the permission quietly to yourself and take one deeper breath.
If you’d like support working with this, feel free to get in touch.
